Flip flops are the only variety of footwear known to me that are named after their onomatopeia.
That's like calling a duck a "quack quack", a gun a "bam bam", a spanish sports announcer a "GOOOOOOL", or a condom an "ohhh yeahhhh baby, yes! yes!"
Perhaps this name is used for these insufficiently-strappy-sandals because using it's descriptive name would be poor marketing. For example, imagine this advertisement:
"Now, 3 for 1 at walmart, get your insufficiently-strappy-really-slow-back-pain-causers!"
Perhaps the purpose of flip flops is for the user to be constantly challenged by their footwear? Whether the flip-flopper is walking or sitting (note: running isn't an option), the flip-flopper must constantly struggle to even keep the flip-flops on their feet. With how often flip flops will fall off, it is almost as if the user's feet know better, and are trying to expel the foul objects from their vicinity.
More hate to come! In the mean time, excuse me while I tie the shoelaces on my sneakers: shoes which are named for being most likely to be worn by quick and stealthy beings such as ninjas.
EDIT: I forgot to include something hateful directed at the 305...Miami sucks!