Sunday, October 4, 2009

Flip Flops 2

Flip flops are the only variety of footwear known to me that are named after their onomatopeia.
That's like calling a duck a "quack quack", a gun a "bam bam", a spanish sports announcer a "GOOOOOOL", or a condom an "ohhh yeahhhh baby, yes! yes!"

Perhaps this name is used for these insufficiently-strappy-sandals because using it's descriptive name would be poor marketing. For example, imagine this advertisement:

"Now, 3 for 1 at walmart, get your insufficiently-strappy-really-slow-back-pain-causers!"

Perhaps the purpose of flip flops is for the user to be constantly challenged by their footwear? Whether the flip-flopper is walking or sitting (note: running isn't an option), the flip-flopper must constantly struggle to even keep the flip-flops on their feet. With how often flip flops will fall off, it is almost as if the user's feet know better, and are trying to expel the foul objects from their vicinity.

More hate to come! In the mean time, excuse me while I tie the shoelaces on my sneakers: shoes which are named for being most likely to be worn by quick and stealthy beings such as ninjas.

EDIT: I forgot to include something hateful directed at the 305...Miami sucks!


  1. Automatopia kicks onomatopoeia's ass. :)

    Flip-slops do suck, yes. Except for, I suppose, getting onto the beach from a short distance away.

    Near constant discomfort and non-functionality for the benefit of sun-kissed feet. Hmmmm.

    If I absolutely must avoid the white feet, I'll take sitting outside reading a book barefoot every now and then, thank you very much.

  2. Damn! I just realized my automatopia even a word at all?...oops!

  3. I've never owned a flip flop I could not run in. Wearing flip flops is like going around barefoot. The only differences are that they'll let you in the seven eleven with them on as opposed to without them. Flip flops rule!

  4. The only footwear named after their onomatopoeia? How about tap-shoes? I think not sir! Good day Sir, I SAID GOOD DAY!

  5. or sneakers... its not actually the sound they make, but that's cause they "sneak" around all quiet like... or loafers.... "... loafloafloaf...."

  6. Indeed but consider this! Sneakers are for sneaking around, loafers are for loafing around. As you said, they are not the sound, but associated action.

    Furthermore, tap-shoes are ASSOCIATED with their onomatopoeia, they contain the word "shoe", which in my book renders it invalid! :P

  7. i'll render YOU invalid, if you know what I mean...

  8. late in the game, but shouldn't condoms be named "aw, common baby, i'll just pull out!" ;)